Pre-Planning Your Own Funeral in the UK: A Practical Guide

Pre-Planning Your Own Funeral in the UK: A Practical Guide

Nobody wants to think about their own funeral. But if you've been through bereavement yourself — if you've been the one making decisions while barely able to think straight — you know exactly how much easier it would have been if your loved one had left some guidance.

Pre-planning your funeral isn't morbid. It's practical, considerate, and surprisingly empowering. This guide walks you through what to think about, what to write down, and how to make sure your wishes are known.

Why Pre-Plan?

The biggest reason is simple: it takes the burden off your family.

When someone dies, their loved ones face dozens of decisions within days — burial or cremation, what music, which readings, what kind of coffin, where to hold the service. Making those choices while grieving is exhausting, and many people are haunted afterwards by the worry that they "got it wrong."

If you've written down what you want, you remove that weight entirely. Your family can focus on supporting each other instead of second-guessing every choice.

Other benefits include:

• Cost control: You can research prices now and even pre-pay, locking in today's costs
• Personal meaning: You can choose music, readings and details that genuinely reflect your life
• Avoiding conflict: Families sometimes disagree about funeral arrangements — your written wishes settle those disputes
• Peace of mind: Knowing it's sorted is a quiet comfort

What to Include in Your Funeral Plan

You don't need a formal document or a solicitor. A clear, written list of your wishes is enough. Here's what to cover:

Burial or Cremation

This is the most fundamental choice. Think about:

• Do you want a traditional burial, natural burial, or cremation?
• If burial, do you have a preferred cemetery or churchyard?
• If cremation, what should happen to your ashes — scattered, kept, buried, or turned into something (reef balls, trees, and even vinyl records are all options now)?
• Would you consider a direct cremation (no service, lower cost)?

The Service

• Do you want a religious service, a humanist ceremony, or a celebration of life?
• Where should it be held — church, crematorium chapel, woodland, pub, or somewhere meaningful to you?
• Who would you like to lead the service?
• Are there specific readings, poems or prayers you'd like included?
• What music matters to you — walking in, during the service, and walking out?

Personal Touches

• What should you wear? Some people have strong feelings about this
• Open or closed coffin?
• Flowers, or donations to a charity instead?
• Any specific type of coffin — traditional, wicker, cardboard, or something else?
• Is there anything you definitely don't want? (This can be just as helpful)

After the Service

• Do you want a wake or reception?
• Where should it be held?
• Any preferences for food, drink, or atmosphere?
• Formal or informal?

How to Record Your Wishes

Your funeral wishes can be written in several ways:

Method	Pros	Cons
Letter to family	Simple, personal, easy to update	Could be lost or overlooked
Included in your will	Formal, stored with legal documents	Often read too late — wills may not be opened until after the funeral
Funeral plan provider	Structured, often includes pre-payment	Monthly costs, provider may go bust
Digital tool or app	Easy to update, shareable	Needs to be accessible to family
Conversation	Immediate, allows discussion	Nothing written down, memories differ

The most important thing is that someone knows where to find it. A beautifully detailed plan is useless if it's in a drawer nobody opens until months later.

Tell at least two people — ideally your next of kin and your executor — where your wishes are stored.

Pre-Paid Funeral Plans: Worth It?

Pre-paid funeral plans let you pay for your funeral at today's prices, spreading the cost over months or years. Since 2022, funeral plan providers in the UK must be regulated by the Financial Conduct Authority (FCA), which means better consumer protection than before.

Advantages

• Locks in today's prices (funeral costs rise faster than inflation)
• Reduces the financial burden on your family
• Forces you to make decisions now, which is the hardest part

Things to Watch

• Check FCA registration: Only use providers registered with the FCA. You can check on the FCA register at register.fca.org.uk
• Read the exclusions: Most plans don't cover everything — burial plots, headstones, flowers and the wake are often excluded
• Understand cancellation terms: If you change your mind or the provider goes under, what happens to your money?
• Compare prices: Plans range from roughly £2,000 for a direct cremation to £5,000+ for a traditional funeral with burial

Major providers include Dignity, Co-op Funeralcare, Golden Charter and Pure Cremation. Get quotes from at least two or three before committing.

Having the Conversation

Telling your family about your funeral wishes can feel awkward. Here are some ways to make it easier:

• Be matter-of-fact: "I've written down what I want for my funeral. It's in the blue folder in the study." Done.
• Frame it as a gift: "I don't want you to have to guess. This is me making it easier for you."
• Use a prompt: A news story, a funeral you've attended, or a TV programme can be a natural way in
• Write it down first: If the conversation feels too hard, a letter works just as well

You don't have to cover everything in one sitting. Mentioning it once opens the door for future conversations.

What About Your Will?

Your funeral wishes and your will are separate things, though they're often confused.

Your will deals with who inherits your money, property and possessions. Your funeral wishes deal with what happens to your body and how you're remembered.

It's wise to mention your funeral preferences briefly in your will, but keep the detailed plan somewhere more accessible. Wills are often not read until days or weeks after the funeral — by which time the decisions have already been made.

If you haven't written a will yet, that's worth doing alongside your funeral planning. Both are acts of care for the people you'll leave behind.

Keep It Updated

Life changes. Relationships shift. Your favourite song in 2026 might not be your favourite in 2036. Review your funeral wishes every few years, or after any major life event — marriage, divorce, moving house, or the death of someone you'd named in your plans.

A quick read-through once a year is enough to keep it current.

Getting Started Today

You don't need to do everything at once. Start with the basics:

1. Decide: burial or cremation
2. Write down three things you'd want at your service (a song, a reading, a location)
3. Tell someone where your wishes are stored
4. Consider whether a pre-paid plan makes sense for your situation

That's enough for today. You can add detail over time.

If you're also thinking about what your family will need to deal with after you're gone — the admin, the notifications, the accounts to close — GetPassage provides a free checklist and letter templates that can save your executor dozens of hours. It's worth bookmarking, even if you hope it won't be needed for a very long time.