Supporting a Bereaved Employee: A Guide for UK Managers

Supporting a Bereaved Employee: A Guide for UK Managers

When someone on your team experiences a bereavement, how you respond matters. The right support can make an enormous difference to their wellbeing and their ability to return to work when they are ready. Getting it wrong, or saying nothing at all, can cause lasting damage to trust and morale.

This guide offers practical, straightforward advice for UK managers navigating this sensitive situation.

Start With the Basics: Bereavement Leave

Since April 2020, all employed parents in the UK have a statutory right to two weeks of Parental Bereavement Leave following the death of a child under 18. This is known as Jack's Law.

For other bereavements, there is no statutory right to paid leave. However, most employers offer some form of bereavement or compassionate leave as part of their policies. Check your company's employee handbook or speak with HR.

Regardless of formal policy, consider the following:

• Be generous where you can. A few extra days of leave costs the business very little but means a great deal to someone who is grieving.
• Be flexible. Grief does not follow a schedule. Someone may need time off weeks or months later, not just in the days immediately after the death.
• Do not make them chase. Proactively confirm what leave is available rather than waiting for them to ask.

The First Conversation

When you first learn about the bereavement, keep your response simple and genuine.

What to say:

• "I am sorry to hear about your loss. Take the time you need."
• "There is no pressure to think about work right now. We will manage."
• "When you are ready, let me know how I can help."

What to avoid:

• Cliches like "everything happens for a reason" or "at least they are not suffering anymore"
• Asking intrusive questions about the circumstances
• Immediately discussing work handover or deadlines
• Saying nothing at all because you feel awkward

A brief, sincere message is always better than silence.

While They Are Away

During their absence, make sure their responsibilities are covered without making them feel replaceable. A few practical steps:

• Redirect their emails and calls
• Brief the team sensitively, sharing only what the employee has agreed to
• Send a simple message after a few days to check in, with no expectation of a reply
• Do not contact them about work matters unless genuinely urgent and unavoidable

If a colleague offers to send a card or flowers on behalf of the team, that is usually welcome, but keep it simple and sincere.

The Return to Work

Coming back to work after a bereavement can be daunting. A thoughtful approach makes a significant difference.

Have a Private Conversation First

Before their first day back, arrange a brief, informal chat. Ask:

• How they are feeling about returning
• Whether they would like colleagues to acknowledge the bereavement or prefer not to discuss it
• Whether they need any adjustments in the short term

Consider Phased or Flexible Options

Depending on your workplace, you might offer:

• A phased return, starting with shorter days or reduced hours
• Temporary remote working if that helps
• Flexibility for appointments (such as probate matters, funeral-related tasks, or counselling)
• A lighter workload for the first few weeks

Brief the Team

Let colleagues know the person is returning, and share any preferences about how they would like to be treated. Most people appreciate a brief, warm acknowledgement rather than everyone tiptoeing around them.

Ongoing Support: Grief Does Not End After Two Weeks

One of the biggest mistakes managers make is assuming the person is "fine" once they are back at work. Grief is unpredictable and long-lasting. Someone may seem to be coping well for weeks and then have a very difficult day.

Practical things you can do over time:

• Check in periodically. A simple "how are you doing?" in a one-to-one goes a long way.
• Be aware of difficult dates: the anniversary, the person's birthday, holidays. These can trigger intense grief.
• If performance dips, address it with compassion. Assume grief before assuming poor attitude.
• Signpost to your Employee Assistance Programme (EAP) if you have one, or to external support like Cruse Bereavement Support or the Samaritans.

What the Law Says

Beyond Parental Bereavement Leave, employees have the right to take reasonable unpaid time off for dependants under the Employment Rights Act 1996. This covers emergency situations, including dealing with a death, but there is no set number of days and it does not have to be paid.

If grief leads to longer-term mental health difficulties, these could qualify as a disability under the Equality Act 2010, meaning the employer has a duty to make reasonable adjustments.

The key takeaway: legal minimums are just that. Good employers go further.

Creating a Bereavement-Friendly Workplace

If your organisation does not have a clear bereavement policy, consider advocating for one. A good policy should cover:

• Paid leave entitlements for different types of bereavement
• Flexibility for funeral attendance, even for non-family deaths
• Guidance for managers on how to respond
• Access to counselling or EAP services
• Recognition that grief affects people differently and for different lengths of time

The Chartered Institute of Personnel and Development (CIPD) and the Dying Matters coalition both offer helpful frameworks.

A Note on Your Own Wellbeing

Supporting a grieving colleague can be emotionally taxing, especially if it brings up your own experiences of loss. It is okay to acknowledge that, and to seek support for yourself if needed.

How GetPassage Can Help

For the employee themselves, GetPassage provides a structured way to manage the practical tasks that follow a bereavement. From notifying banks and government departments to tracking probate progress, it takes some of the administrative burden off their shoulders during an incredibly difficult time.

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This guide covers general best practice for UK workplaces. Always refer to your organisation's specific policies and seek HR or legal advice for complex situations.