What Is a Letter of Wishes and Do You Need One? A UK Guide

A letter of wishes is a document that sits alongside your will and explains, in plain English, how you would like certain decisions to be handled after your death. In the UK, it is usually not legally binding, but it can still be extremely useful.

The simplest way to think about it is this: your will gives the legal instructions; your letter of wishes gives the human context.

What is a letter of wishes?

A letter of wishes is a written note or document that accompanies a will. It is typically used to guide:

• executors
• trustees
• guardians
• family members

Unlike a will, it is generally not a legally binding document. That means it does not replace the will, and it cannot override clear legal instructions in it. But it can help the people handling your affairs understand what you meant, what you cared about and how you hoped they would use their discretion.

Why not just put everything in the will?

Because a will and a letter of wishes do different jobs.

A will is formal. It needs the right legal structure and witnessing. If probate is obtained, it can also become a public document.

A letter of wishes is different. It is usually more flexible, more private and easier to update. That makes it useful for the things that are important, but may change over time or need more explanation than a will can comfortably hold.

What can a letter of wishes include?

There is no single required format, but common topics include:

• funeral preferences
• who should be told about your death
• personal items you would like to go to particular people
• guidance to trustees about how to support beneficiaries
• wishes about when children or young adults should receive money
• explanations for sensitive family decisions
• practical notes for guardians about children’s upbringing

For example, someone may use a letter of wishes to explain why money in trust should be released gradually rather than all at once, or why one beneficiary may need more support than another.

What it cannot do

This matters. A letter of wishes is useful precisely because it is flexible, but that flexibility has limits.

It should support the will, not contradict it. It cannot safely be used to rewrite the legal effect of a will after the fact.

As a rule, a letter of wishes should not be used to:

• replace a will
• change who inherits under a clearly drafted will
• create legal powers that the will does not provide
• force executors or trustees to act unlawfully
• settle complex family disputes in place of proper legal drafting

If your real intention is to change the legal outcome, the answer is usually to update the will, not to write a stronger letter.

When is a letter of wishes most useful?

Not everyone needs one. But it becomes especially helpful when there is likely to be judgment involved.

1. When there are trusts

If your will creates a trust, trustees may have discretion about timing, amounts or priorities. A letter of wishes can explain how you hoped they would use that discretion.

2. When there are children

You may want to leave notes about education, religion, routines, values or the kind of support you would want guardians to consider. A will can appoint guardians; a letter of wishes can explain your thinking.

3. When there are sensitive family dynamics

Blended families, estrangement, unequal gifts or support for a vulnerable beneficiary often benefit from explanation. A letter of wishes does not remove conflict by magic, but it can reduce confusion.

4. When you want privacy

Because a letter of wishes is not the same as the will itself, people often use it for personal explanations they would rather not set out in a formal public-facing legal document.

Does a letter of wishes need to be witnessed?

Usually, no. A letter of wishes does not normally need the same formal signing and witnessing rules as a will. That said, it is still sensible to:

• write it clearly
• sign it
• date it
• keep it with the will
• review it regularly

The people relying on it should be able to see when it was written and whether it still reflects your wishes.

How often should you review it?

Review it whenever life changes in a meaningful way, for example after:

• marriage or divorce
• a new child or grandchild
• buying or selling a home
• a major change in finances
• illness or disability in the family
• a breakdown in family relationships
• changes to your will

A letter of wishes that no longer matches your life can create more confusion than clarity.

A simple way to structure one

You do not need legal jargon. Plain English is better. A useful structure is:

Section	What to cover
Introduction	Confirm that the letter is intended to guide, not replace, your will
Funeral wishes	Burial, cremation, tone of service, music or memorial preferences
Family context	Anything your executors, trustees or guardians should understand
Money guidance	How you hope discretion should be used for children or beneficiaries
Personal items	Any wishes about sentimental possessions
Review note	Date written and confirmation you intend it to be read with your will

Do you need a solicitor to write one?

Not always. Many people can draft a simple letter of wishes themselves. But legal advice is worth considering if:

• your will uses trusts
• you are excluding someone who may challenge the estate
• there is a vulnerable beneficiary
• there is a second marriage or blended family
• there are tax or business issues involved

The point is not to make the letter more impressive. The point is to make sure it fits properly with the will underneath it.

Should everyone have one?

No. Some estates are simple enough that a clear will is enough. But a letter of wishes becomes more valuable where the law leaves room for judgment and family life is more complicated than a checklist.

A good question to ask yourself is: is there anything I want people to understand, not just obey? If the answer is yes, a letter of wishes may help.

A practical example

Imagine a parent leaves money to two children, one of whom is still very young and one of whom needs extra support because of health needs. The will may create the trust and appoint the trustees. The letter of wishes can then explain how the parent hoped the trustees would think about education, timing, flexibility and fairness.

That kind of context is often exactly what a legal document alone cannot express well.

Final thoughts

A letter of wishes is not a substitute for a will. But it can be an excellent companion to one. It adds explanation, privacy and flexibility, especially where trustees, guardians or executors may need to make judgment calls.

If you are planning ahead, this is one of those small documents that can make a stressful future easier for the people you leave behind. And if you are already helping to organise a family’s affairs, tools like GetPassage can help keep the will, notes and next steps in one place so important context is not lost when it is needed most.